C'est la vie.

Recently I've sort of been in a depressed state. Just so much stuff going on that has been eating at me. Up until last week my mind was on what specifically I wanted to do after college, relationships (of the opposite sex), and schoolwork. But after last week, after an unexpected and unwanted surprise, finding a place to live next fall along side financial worries were added to the list. The first two are things I've been thinking about consistently for some time now, and they've been bothering me more and more. School, well... its school. The latter two caused my glass to overfill so to speak.

Though I prefer things to go as planned (as I'm sure others do too) unexpected circumstances aren't always bad. It's something that I have to remind myself. It's hard though, not having complete control over the things in your life, but then again, it wouldn't be life.

The other night I was thinking about all these things and I came to realize that though all these things have been bothering me, it's not too bad. When I get so caught up in my worries, I end up forgetting all the things that I'm grateful for. I am grateful to have family and friends who care about me. Grateful for their and my health. Grateful for how well my life has turned out so far. It's amazing how looking at my current state of affairs in a different perspective can make so much of a difference in the way I feel.

Understanding People

I always feel that people around me think in a much deeper manner when it comes to others. As if I was incapable of grasping the intricacies of social interaction. The reason I say this is because I don't feel like I really know the majority of the people around me. It takes me much longer to get to know someone than it takes others. And the conversations I have with many of the people that I know, don't really provide me with any detailed understanding of who they are. I just don't know what questions to ask to really get to know them.
With certain people, there just comes a time after talking with them a when I just run out of things to say or ask and them and I are faced with what some call "awkward silence." This comes to happen very early when I am talking to some, and it really doesn't help my cause to understanding them more. Though I really don't find the silence to be very awkward, others seem to see it that way. So lengthening my conversations is one of the things I have been attempting to accomplish. Comparing myself to my earlier selves, I've improved, and I intend on improving even more.